Black Women Best Option Remains the Usual Suspect

 Right now, I see sistas out there in droves to watch and support the movie “Girl’s Trip”.  At the time of this blog, the movie has surpassed my expectations and has raked in $72 million at the box office in domestic sales. Black women are trending and we love it.  But as black women trend up, some people want to wedge a stake between the union of a traditional black couple. Regina King stated in a VIBE interview that she thinks Black women should be open to dating all races. I can understand her advice as being one which expands the dating and selection pool for black women. If I read it correct, Regina King is advocating for black women to play the numbers game by increasing black women’s opportunity percentages. She went on to allude that black men are willing to date outside of the black race so black women should follow suit. Her points are dually noted.  However, Ms. King may have miscalculated a couple facts.


The facts are that 88% of black men whom do get married, do so with black women. Data from Facebook dating app, Are You Interested, revealed that of all races of men, black men showed the highest level of preference for black women by far. And Black women prefer black men over all races across the board. What this tells me is that black man and black women still have high preference levels towards one another. Moreover, even with the flack that black men give to black women, we are still your best option. This same dating app gave back data suggesting that those races, especially white and Asian men, thought really low of black women, in comparison to the other races of women.


Now with these facts in hand, allow me to hypothesize: 

1)   Other races of men do not think too highly of black women. So if you find men of other races wanting to date black women, you have to wonder if the motive is strictly that of a sexual nature.


2)  The Image of the black women is not the greatest. But before I delve into this topic, allow me to veer off course for one second.

I remember being written up at work. Management was detailing a slew of nontangible opinion based complaints about my performance. My direct supervisor displayed a sense of disbelief on why management decided to call me into the office to talk about my poor performance. However, I knew that management only cares about $$$ and I was a consistent producer. So for management to bring me into the office to complain about my performance, this had to be on the direct request of the before mentioned direct supervisor of mine.

I say that to say this, if black women have such a negative reputation, the notes and reports had to come from their closest companion, that being black men. Moreover, the black man has to take some form of an accountable knock onto his character for the state of the black female, if her image is truly in dire straits. The black man was to be her support system and provider. However, many black men have dropped the ball. I am not pandering to women. I am merely calling it like it is. If black women wed, mate, and date with majority of black men, then those single mothers are so because her black companion left her to fend for herself. That sassy black woman got her neck snapping back and forth because her black man showed little responsibility and forced her to develop defensive and survival characteristics. If you see a dirty child walking down the street, you can assume that their parents are not doing a good job. If you see a home with uncontrollable weeds growing in the front lawn, you can assume that the owner did not do a good job. If you visit a coffee shop and the cups are all dirty, you will assume that the owner is not on top of his/her job. So since a man, especially in the past, was viewed as the head of his household, it makes sense that his female counterpart is a direct reflection of how he conducts his job. Black men have been doing a bad job in regards to the uplifting, supporting, and providing protection for black women.  


3)   A black man remains the black woman’s best option. I am basing this proclamation solely on compatible preferences and shared culture. Black people prove to be very resilient. Between common bonds and proximity, black men and black women have continued to plow through the trenches together. You often hear, “Unless you are black, you can never understand.” That means that the multitude of common bonds encapsulated within race supersede the best efforts of understanding from someone outside of being or relating to being black. If accurate, this premise will surely playout across other racial lines.

4)   Blame Hollywood. Movies like Baps, Woo, and Sprung improperly showcased negative and unflattering images of black women on the global scene. Hollywood has a history of glorifying less than socially uplifting imagery of people and cultures. All Italians do not have mob ties. All Irish are not drunkard fighters.  All Spanish do not carry knives. And all blacks do not carry themselves in the worse possible ghetto manner imaginable. Modern day Hollywood is performing an about-face with many of the buffoonery images of black women and replacing them with more respectable images that reflects the majority. 

5)   Segregation still exist. Many of our American cities continue to be segregated by race over economics. Examples of this form of racial separation can be seen in cities like Milwaukee, Chicago, Gary, New York, Newark, Detroit, and Cleveland. Since most relationships come to fruition due to opportunity from proximity or geographical convenience, the chances of same race courting remain high.


So in regards to Regina King’s plea for black women to explore their respective options, I agree. I give every “Dora the Explorer” black woman my full blessings in her pursuit of happiness, but I foresee that road of exploration will inevitably lead her right back to the place for where she most likely started. So go swirl black women! Furthermore, I do not hate or feel any form of negative sentiment that Serena Williams decided to marry an Albanian Billionaire. If she is happy then I am happy for the sista (or sister). Now the rest of you black Queens need to get ready to give Lester, Jamal, and Rashid some play.  I do think that some black men have to step up their game in all levels of manhood and overall output, but we are still your best bet. It sucks doesn’t it (pure sarcasm). And although going on a “Girl’s Trip” sounds like a cool event, I personally do not do “Boy’s Trips”.  So I will be tagging up with my wife to see this flick when she encourages us to do so. But she will owe me a sci-fi movie in return.